JUST TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA!

BRAND NEW FOR 2006 THE ODYSSEY HOMERS EPIC STORY RETOLD AS ONLY THE WIZARDMARRA CAN. All the cast is assembled, Odysseus, Polyphemous, Circe, Eolus The god of the winds (WARNING! fart gags!!!) What is the song the Sirens sing to lure men to there dooms? How does Hermes get dressed in the morning? These questions and more will be answered in the Wizardmarras telling of this classic tale. A FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK Part inspired by the only decent Christmas song ever written. This is a completely new interpretation of the Scottish tale TAM LIN written by Wizardmarra. When Janet a highly successful New York advertising executive decides to go to Fairyland, an ultracool nightclub situated in the old Carter Hall building her life takes a very strange turn. For the owner of the club is The Queen Of The Night herself. Like Tam tells her; "She's not into black magic, she IS black magic. CAPTAIN CREST. Captain Crest, the most evil pirate that ever sailed the seven seas. Fouler than a mizzen deck on Sunday morning after a Saturday night when we been having a knees up with a barrel of rum at the Pirates Legion. The treasure we got with the Cap'n were vast, Then he went and hid it and died!Now he haunts it, a ghost with a heart blacker than when he were alive. Tis true! Sure as my names Legless Bob, I'd stake my wooden bum on it! The Pirates try to find it! Hear how the Scurvy Scum Scatter in their pants at the sight of the ghost! The Explorer tries to find it! CARRINGTON CARSTAIRS SCARES HIMSELF SILLY (Serialised in “THE BIG BOOK OF BOYS OWN ADVENTURE TALES BY CAPITAL CHAPS!”) The TV Crew tried to find it. “Tonight viewers something really really peculiar happened on “NOT HAUNTED AT ALL, MOSTLY” when our clairvoyant Erik Askowser came over all funny, and I heard a bang.” And then three others try WHO ARE THEY? If I see you, I’ll tell you ***** THE HOGFATHER OK! So it's about pigs! Like you know the deal, when The Hogfathers daughter gets herself hitched, The Hogfather grants favours to people who ask him nice. So he sets his three sons Anthony, Paulie and Micheal up in business. Basically it’s about these 3 pigs and this wolf who's on the jazz. Capeche! Sit back pull up a pizza find out what happens, One guy ends up being the new Hogfather, The Big Cheese. You know what they call that in France, it’s Le Grand Fromage. I like that, Le Grand Fromage, that’s French! ***** ONE RUNG TO RULE THEM ALL A tale of the Utensils of Power that were made when the world was new to keep it squeaky clean! Of the Hoovers of the Elves, the Black & Delver of the Dwarves and of THE ONE LADDER. Of Freddy Higgins, Grand Alf, Gobbo and the evil Sarosama Binliner Claddam! and his Weapons Of Magical Destruction. It all started when old Harry Higgins started going off the festivals. He won the ladder when he guessed Gobbos' riddle. "What have I got on the roofses of my van?" ***** THE GREAT STORY OF BORROWDALE Begun when the beasts of the world slept. The Boar, Albion stirred and the wrinkles on his back formed Cumbria. A tale of walls and gowks, of Jack Mallinson who tried to catch the moon in an umbrella so it would only rain at night, and of Millican Dalton* who lived in a cave and never wasted a word. WORDS FOR MR DALTON There was once a man from a northern town who packed up his life and set off down To work with a pen in the city So he scribbled and scribed ‘til he asked himself why? and what was the point of his life? The Whys’? And The How’s’? and The What happens now? The Wherefores? And What ifs? Invaded They spun in his head He was numbed… He was dead… Never to reach a conclusion… He discussed it with friends used a magnifying lens ‘till all finer points were debated The answers came fast from the first to the last and every single one was original from that simple why? It all multi-plied and the answers just left him with questions But then came a thought On the wind from the north and The great final answers just hit him Don’t waste words Jump to conclusions Don’t talk all night, do the walk of life Actions speak louder than words Life is for living for laughter for giving For running like mad through the grass For splashing in water as it falls down the fells For climbing right up to the top So He threw down his pen Said goodbye to the men Who continued to scribble and scribe But nobody worried and nobody cried and nobody followed the man who best foot forward Set on his course and followed his nose to the north To live out his days in a Cumbrian cave Showing the folk who caught on to the joke How to scramble to splash to scree run and dash to Sail on the sunlight and water To clamber on rock and climb right to the top That to waste all those words is really absurd Take a leap of faith JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS * Millican Dalton really existed, to learn more about this amazing man check out Matthew Entwhistles amazing website and buy his book! http://homepage.ntlworld.com/matthew.entwistle/welcome.html and for a downloadable mp3 of the above words with music by Wizardmarra and featuring extracts from Millican Daltons guidebooks and a quote from "Rogue Herries" by Hugh Walpole check out http://www.myspace.com/Wizardmarra1